What Not to Say to a Friend Who Is Grieving the Loss of a Parent After Nursing Home Abuse

You want to be a good friend. You want to do everything that you can to ease your friend’s grief and help him as he mourns the death of a parent from nursing home abuse. Even more than that, however, you want to make sure that you don’t do anything wrong. You want to make sure that you don’t unintentionally make things harder during an already difficult time.

Don’t Say These Things

As you comfort your friend, you should be cautious about saying things like:

  • I know how you feel. You can’t know how your friend feels unless you have lost a loved one due to nursing home abuse.
  • Your mom was old anyway. That doesn’t make her death any less tragic.
  • Maybe it is better this way because your mom is not in pain. Your friend may not have wanted his mom to suffer, but he did not want her to die either.
  • How do you really know this was nursing home abuse or neglect and not just bad luck? Your friend doesn’t need to be second guessed by you.

While you may not mean to upset your friend, these kinds of comments can have that unintentional effect.

Instead Do Say and Do These Things

There are things that you can say that may be helpful to your friend. You may say things like:

  • I’m so sorry. I’m here for you. What can I do?
  • Do you need me to go to an Owensboro grocery store for you, pick up your kids from school in Elizabethtown, or attend a meeting with a nursing home abuse lawyer with you?
  • Would you like me to go to church with you?
  • How about I bring over lunch and spend some time with you?

What your friend needs now is a friend. You can be that friend by providing unconditional and nonjudgmental support. You can be that friend by telling your friend where to get additional help. For example, you can encourage your friend to watch our FREE videos or to call us directly to set up an initial consultation.

 

Mark K. Gray
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Louisville attorney serving the seriously injured in Kentucky